Radioactive
by ankaz123
Summary: April has gone back to Matthew after Jackson's rejection of her following 10x01. She's accepted that nothing will happen with Jackson and is ready and willing to move on...but what happens when fate (and a freak car accident) bring our favourite pairing back together ? My version of events following the S10 premiere because Shonda is a pairing murderer! Please read & review
1. Chapter 1

Radioactive 

**So here is another Japril fic. I'm sure I join with most of this fandom when I voice my complete and utter anger at the premiere! I hate to say it folks, but I don't know if we'll be seeing any proper Japril anytime soon….we'll have to make do with longing glances across hallways and operating theatres- or whatever Shonda thinks of next to torture our already weak and battered souls… **

**Please read and remember to REVIEW! **

…..

April couldn't help but grin to herself as she walked down the corridor and into the attending's lounge. Matthew had accepted her and they were officially engaged. But her mind returned to Jackson. She loved him too…she didn't understand what was happening. She loved them both. Jackson because he had been her first. They were best friends and they had been through a lot together. But she also loved Matthew. He was sweet, handsome, caring and most importantly wasn't afraid to declare his love for her. That felt amazing, hearing him say it, hearing him tell her over and over. She was so confused because she loved them both.

Jackson had been right. The only reason she had run into that room and told him she loved him was because he had just been injured and she thought he was dead. That was true. But she had only done it because it was true, she did love him. It broke her heart knowing that he wouldn't return it, that he wouldn't say the same words back…

Entering the lounge she collapsed onto the empty sofa and lay back, staring absently up at the ceiling. She was glad that she was engaged to Matthew. Even though what they had wasn't the same kind of intense love and passion that she had had with Jackson, it was enough and that was all she needed. It felt good to be loved and a small part of her resented Jackson for never telling her what she wanted to hear. What Matthew told her every day. Sighing deeply, she closed her eyes and allowed her mind to relax as she toyed with the engagement ring on her finger. Smiling contently to herself she shifted until she was comfortable and allowed sleep to consume her.

….

Jackson sat at the nurse's station staring mindlessly at the computer in front of him. He had to keep busy. To keep moving, to keep thinking. Every time he allowed his mind to relax he immediately thought of April. If he wasn't angry at her, he was missing her and if he wasn't missing her, he was having fantasies of whisking her in his arms and kissing her…

No! He knew that April had only come running because he had been hurt. When things had been good between them, she got cold feet and ran away. Even with the way he felt about her, he couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't even know what they wanted. It wouldn't be fair on either of them. But that moment when April thought she had been pregnant and they were planning their future together- well that damn well was one of the happiest moments of his life! Seeing her eyes light up at the thought of being together, a baby, married, living in an actual house, with an actual yard….

'_Snap out of it Jackson!'_ He mentally scolded himself. It wasn't going to happen. Plus he'd heard on the grapevine that April was well and truly engaged to Matthew and that things were going smoothly with the pair of them. _'Good'_, he thought to himself with a small, sad smile. She deserved happiness and if Matthew was the person to give it to her then that was what had to happen.

Finishing his work on the computer, Jackson logged out and stood from the chair, and headed towards the elevator. When he got inside, he pressed the button that would take him down to the ER. If April wasn't going to leave his head, he would force her out the only way he knew how- throwing himself into the work.

…..

"Baby do you dare to do this coz I'm coming at ya like a dark horse…." April sang loudly in the car as the Katy Perry song blasted on the radio. She was in her car driving home at the end of her shift. It had been a long day and she couldn't wait to get home and fall asleep. Normally she would take the chance to walk the eight blocks back the apartment she shared with Alex and Jackson, but with the after effects of the super storm still evident throughout Seattle, she decided to drive home and not risk being caught in the ever-present, but lately extremely heavy rain. Stopped at the red traffic lights, she realised the road was completely empty. Glancing at the clock she saw it was nearly 1 in the morning and could help but automatically yawn. Tapping her fingers impatiently as she waited for the lights to change, she glanced down at her phone that lay innocently in the compartment between the drivers and passengers seat. It was flashing with a new message.

"Drive safe" it read from Matthew "Really wet out…." Was all she could see without unlocking the iPhone. Smiling gently to herself at her fiancés caring manner her eyes flashed back to the road. Seeing the green light she pressed the accelerator and drove across the intersection. Approaching the next intersection she glanced down again at her phone which began beeping once more with a message tone. Her eyes returned almost immediately to the road and she let out a small screech at the sight of a large brown dog walking across the empty road.

She hammered her foot onto the break, but the car skidded and came to sudden halt longways across both lanes. Letting out a deep sigh, April took her trembling hands and rubbed her face almost as if to reassure herself she was still alive and breathing. She quickly looked up and sighed again at the sight of the empty road. She didn't even want to consider what would have happened if other vehicles were on the road.

She allowed herself a small weak laugh as she considered her incredible luck. Realising the ignition of the car was still running, she reached down to pull the gear into drive when she noticed the new message flashing on screen.

"Call me what have chance..." was all it read- again from Matthew. Frowning slightly in confusion at what her fiancé would want to speak to her about, April was too preoccupied at the screen that she didn't realised the truck heading towards her.

….

"Alright Mr Anderson", Jackson smiled at his patient lying on the bed in the ER. The young man was clutching his head with a pained expression on his face. "I've stitched up the cut on your forehead. Those stitches are dissolvable so they should heal up in a week or so. Make sure you keep the wound clean and don't do anything that could open it back up again".

"Alright Doc", Anderson answered, his words slurring together as he groaned.

"I think you should get home and sleep off that night out. It's gonna be a killer hangover, I can already tell you" Jackson smirked as he stood and walked back to the nurses' station.

He was just beginning to get the discharge papers ready for the patient when he felt his phone begin to vibrate inside the pocket of his scrub pants. Pulling it out, he saw April name flashing on the screen. Frowning he pressed the answer button and placed it to his ear.

"Hello?" he spoke hollowly.

"Jackson…." He heard a voice rasp. Frowning deeper he pressed the cell phone closer to his ear.

"April?" he demanded.

"Jackson", she croaked again. Her voice was incredibly faint and she sounded…strange. "Jackson…please…help me".


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Thank you to all the lovely people who favourited and reviewed the first chapter. It felt amazing to get so many lovely messages. Hope you enjoy this new chapter. I'm still not sure what I want to happen next, so if you've got any ideas, please let me know! **

**Enjoy! **

…

"Arghhhh" April let out a howl of excruciating pain as she attempted to shift herself underneath the car wreckage. Craning her neck upwards all she could see the shell of her car but above that the imposing front of the semi-trailer that had rammed the side of her car. It must have pushed the car and flipped it over because the next thing April knew was that she had woken up with her legs and pelvis pinned underneath the weight of the front dashboard and steering wheel. She was a doctor, she knew exactly what would happen if she didn't get out soon.

Luckily she could still move her feet and let out a small cry of relief when she realised she still had sensation in her lower body. She attempted to free herself from the constraints of the seatbelt and groaned in frustration as it failed to unbuckle, the mechanism seemingly crushed in the impact. Her arms were weak and as much as she struggled with the buckle, she could help but burst out in devastated tears realising she was well and truly trapped. She was never one to feel claustrophobic, but right there and then she was beginning to feel incredibly overwhelmed in the enclosed cabin of her tiny car as it lay on its side.

Glancing down, she saw her cell phone lying a few feet away from her. She attempted to reach out her arm to get to it and groaned in frustration as she fingers only brushed its cool plastic. Sighed deeply, attempting to push the pain away, she bit her lips to stop herself from screeching in agony as she shifted her upper body and pushed out her arm as far as she could…

She had it! April allowed herself to let out a happy sob as she clutched the phone to her body. Unlocking it, she immediately pressed 911 and waited for the operator.

"911 what's your emergency?" the operator recited flatly.

"I've been in a car accident" April told her, trying to keep back the tears, of both pain and relief that help had been reached. "My car has flipped and I'm stuck inside, my legs are pinned underneath the steering wheel and front dashboard".

"Ok" the operator, a lady, answered. "I've got your location and I'm sending an ambulance and police to you straight away honey. Is anyone else with you?"

"No" April replied weakly. Her head had begun to bang in pain from being suspended in the car. "I don't know about the driver that hit me. I can't really anything else apart from the inside of my car" She winced. "My legs are pinned".

"Do you have feeling in your legs?" the operator questioned.

"Yes I can feel my toes. My name is Dr April Kepner, I work at Sloan Grey Memorial. Please come quickly. I know exactly what can happen with crush injuries. One of my friends died from this type of injury…please…come quickly" she rambled and couldn't help but burst into fearful tears.

"The ambulance is two minutes away honey…." The operator replied with an encouraging tone. "Hang on in there April…" the line suddenly cut out. April wailed in frustration as she stared at her phone. She glanced at the screen and saw that the bars of reception kept fluctuating. She saw Jackson's name appear on her call list and decided to press it.

"Hello?" he answered hollowly.

"Jackson…"she rasped.

"April?"

"Jackson", she croaked, her voice becoming weaker. "Jackson….help me…."

"April? What's going on?" the confusion clear in his voice. "Where are you?".

"I've been in an accident" she explained in her raspy tone.

"Oh my God!" Jackson exclaimed. "What the hell happened? Where are you? Have you called 911?".

"Yes" she breathed. Jackson's heart skipped hearing her sighing heavily from the agony. "You have to help me".

"What do you want me do?"

"Just make sure Matt is ok. I'll probably be coming in the hospital soon….just look after him".

Jackson paused, unsure how to reply to her words.

"Jackson" she sighed, her voice evidently weaker. "Please….I can't….I don't know…the car…" and the line suddenly disconnected.

Groaning in frustration, Jackson attempted to immediately dial her back. "The number you have reached is…" the anonymous voice recited as Jackson hung up, resisting the urge to yell out in anger. Even if he had just rejected her advances, Jackson still considered her a valued friend. They had been through a lot together and he wasn't ready to lose her just yet. Coming to his senses he realised that April would probably be heading into the ER soon and immediately headed for the closest elevator. He wanted to be there to greet her.

….

Leaving the lift, Jackson headed straight for the main nurses station. There he was surprised to find Matthew and the other paramedic Nicole standing at the desk laughing with one of the nurses. He obviously hadn't heard. Walking over, Matthew glanced up and gave Jackson an unfriendly glance. Jackson didn't really pay much attention as he walked closer.

"Hey man", Jackson greeted the paramedic, attempting to sound passive. "Can I have a word?" he asked, indicating over away from Nicole and the nurse.

Matthew didn't reply, instead keeping his cool composure, giving the surgeon a single nod. They took a few steps towards an empty room and they stood in the doorway as Jackson spoke first.

"Look man" he sighed. "Its about April…"

"I'd rather you just leave it alone Doctor Avery" Matthew interrupted the Plastic fellow, raising his hand. "April and I have sorted everything out…"

"It's not about that" Jackson exclaimed, running a hand over his head. "April's been in an accident" Jackson explained exasperatedly. "She called me a few minutes ago…from her car".

"Oh my God" Matthew breathed, leaning back against the doorframe in shock. "Is she alright?" he spoke after a few silent moments consideration.

"You know just as well what a car accident can do to a person. I don't know the extent of her injuries, but she was speaking, and she sounded alright. Well as alright as a person who had just been hit by another car could".

Matthew nodded in agreement, still bewildered by what Jackson had told him. "Was help going for her?" he asked.

"Yes. She said she had managed to call 911".

"Good" was all Matthew could reply. "That's good…"

"Look man" Jackson spoke in a clipped tone. "Just thought you should know…because…you know…."

"Thanks" Matthew managed a small tight smile. "I appreciate it. I'll get on the radio, see who's picked her up and how she's going" and with that, the young paramedic headed back towards his colleague with his radio in hand.

Jackson watched the man retreat, unsure of what to do now. He wanted so badly to stay in the ER and be there when April arrived, to see her, but he didn't want to get in Matthew's way. He was her fiancé and Jackson was just the man who'd rejected her, and quite rudely, only a few hours ago. He still cared about her of course, and April had been the one who had called her from the scene…did that mean something? She had been, was, is one of his closest friends and they had been together through so much, so he felt he deserved to stay there and see her…

…..

April remained in her vehicle prison, attempting to fight the intense feeling of sleepiness that was threatening to overwhelm her. She knew that her first priority was to remain awake, once unconsciousness consumed her, who knew the next time she would wake up again. Every few seconds she would wriggle her toes to reassure herself that she had not lost feeling.

Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted with the sharp wail of ambulance sirens. Breathing a loud sigh of relief and happiness she began calling out.

"I'm here!" she spoke. She realised that it didn't sound loud at all, instead coming out broken like a teenage boy going through puberty. "Help me!" she attempted to call once more.

Her voice was stopped as an ambulance officer met her face with a reassuring smile. "Hey there" he spoke calmly, but assertively. "My name is Luke" he smiled. "What's your name"

"April" she whispered. "April Kepner".

"April?" he frowned slightly as he reached into the car to begin taking her vitals. "As in Matt's fiancé?"

"Yes" she breathed. "Yes Matthew". Matthew was her fiancé, but right there and then, Jackson was all she could think about.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thanks to all for the reviews! Greatly appreciated. I've been getting to many favourites and follows, but please don't forget to review. Even if it's one word, it shows you're enjoying and I'll be motivated to write and update much faster! **

Chapter 3: 

Jackson stood silently at the nurses' station outside April's ICU room staring intently into her room and at her laying figure. She had just come out of a five hour surgery to treat all her injuries. It had been all hands on deck to attempt to stabilise her. When she had been brought in, she had been fluctuating in and out of consciousness and murmuring and groaning as the gurney was wheeled into the trauma room.

Hunt, Yang and Torres had been ready and waiting for the ambulance to bring April in, with Matt and Jackson waiting anxiously outside.

Matthew had immediately rushed over towards the gurney as it was pulled out of the ambulance. "April!" he exclaimed, rushing over. "April baby….I'm here!"

"Matt" she smiled. "I love you" she whispered as she was wheeled into the trauma room with the door immediately shut. Matt stared blankly at the closed room, raising his fist and touching it. Jackson couldn't help but feel for the paramedic. His face had said it all really- shock, fear and the anger that came with the helplessness. Remembering April's message during her phone call, Jackson sighed, pushing back the indifference he felt towards the man as he approached him, placing a kind hand on Matt's shoulder he spoke reassuringly.

"C'mon" he spoke, attempting to lead Matt over to the nearby waiting area. "They need to look after her. They'll do their best".

"Thanks Avery" Matt spoke flatly. "I know well that you can't give patients false hope. You and April are….whatever…so I know you're feeling this too. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better- or whatever" he mumbled before walking off towards the exit and out into the freezing night.

Sighing heavily, Jackson watched his leave and silently agreed. As a doctor he understood and could easily recite the possible complications that April could experience. Hypertension…tetanus infection…broken and/or fractured bones…renal failure…acidosis…hyperkalaemia…the list went on. His mind turned momentarily to Lexie, who had also been crushed, and prayed a silent prayer, thankful that April had only been trapped for a short time and under a dashboard, not a piece of a plane. Sighing heavily he turned back toward the trauma room. Hunt was in the middle of doing something to her legs. Jackson could make out the small monitor and read that her BP and sats were within a safe range. He couldn't help but smile. April was a fighter. She was strong and she would make it….he was praying she would make it.

So hours later and a long surgery afterwards, Jackson found himself in the ICU, frozen and staring intently into her room. Watching her chest rise and fall with each shallow breath the ventilator took for her. It was a painful sight, but one that he was slightly relieved to see. She was going to be ok. Her most serious injuries had been attended to. She escaped the tetanus infection but had a fractured pelvis, and broken her left patella, tibia and fibula and her right fibula and tibia. Initial x-rays and ultrasounds suggested minimal damage to her kidneys, liver and reproductive organs but everyone was on alert for the hyperkalaemia. Her blood had shown elevated levels of potassium, built up in her crushed legs and released following her release from the car wreck. Shepard was keen to keep her in the coma for a few days to allow her brain to rest and regenerate. The stress of the ordeal and the pressure of being suspended in a flipped car had taken its toll. it was going to be a long and painful recovery, but all in all she had made a remarkable escape. A fact which made Jackson's heart swell in pride for his closest friend. She had done it- she had survived.

Inside the room, next to her bed, Matthew was curled up on the small armchair; his head back, breathing shallowly as he slept. His arm was extended and his hand enveloped her still one. Jackson watched the scene with a hint of jealously. He wanted to be the one in there with April. He also felt humiliation wash over him as he realised that he was doing exactly what he had chastised April for only half a day ago. Now _he_ had come running back because he thought she may have died. _He _had come running back to profess his love. And this was her rejection.

And even though he felt incredibly stupid for the words he had said and the things he had done to April, it only made him surer of what he felt for her. Seeing her like this, vulnerable and so close to death, he knew that he wanted to be the one for her. He wanted to be there eternally to protect her, to look after her, to make her laugh, to make her smile, to make her happy, to surprise her….he wanted her. But looking on at Matthew, he knew that the chances of that occurring were slim. He had been cruel to April, throwing back her words at her in childish anger and frustration. He had made crystal clear his thoughts and emotions- even if they hadn't been entirely true. Now Matt was the one with the girl and Jackson left humiliated and guilty.

He was still gazing upon the sleeping form of the redhead surgeon when a voice spoke behind him.

"A penny for your thoughts Avery?" Torres smiled knowingly at him.

Jackson immediately straightened his face, attempting to appear as professional as he could, grabbing a nearby chart and holding it up.

"Just getting some paperwork" he explained quickly.

"Sure" Callie answered. "So how's Kepner holding up?"

"Stable" Jackson replied automatically. "For now".

"She'll be alright" the Latina nodded. "She's a fighter. God knows enough bad things have happened in this hospital".

"How's Webber?" Jackson asked, happy to change the subject.

"Yang managed to do the balloon pump surgery. They have to wait until he wakes up for more".

"Mom will be relieved" Jackson murmured to himself. As much as he wasn't a fan of his mother's relationship with the former Chief, Webber was a recent man, and he didn't deserve what had happened to him.

"So that's the paramedic?" Callie raised an eyebrow, indicating to Matthew's sleeping figure.

"Yeah" Jackson replied begrudgingly. "That's him".

"He's pretty cute" Callie observed. "I can see why Kepner went for him. They seem so alike".

Jackson only replied with a small growl that had formed in the back of his throat. The orthopaedic surgeons comment was not what he needed right now.

Callie detected Jackson's hostility towards April's fiancé and smiled knowingly. "Avery" she sighed. "Just go home, have a shower, get some sleep and come back in the morning. Kepner isn't going anywhere. Standing here like a frozen statue staring at her all night won't do either of you any good. You just need to just clear your head and…" she paused, allowing her words to sink in. "…look at this situation _objectively_" she emphasised the last word. Callie could see that Jackson was obviously still harbouring something for the redhead. But she could also see that what the trauma surgeon had with the paramedic seemed genuine and that April needed to make an important decision when she recovered.

But for now, Jackson needed to clear away and allow April to heal from this terrible accident. From experience, she knew that it was going to be a long and hard road; mentally and physically, and she would need someone who was going to be there 100%- not when he figured out what his true feelings were. Giving Jackson one last meaningful glance, she left him. Jackson remained still, pondering his colleague's words.

He knew he had to take a few steps back. What he had done wasn't fair on April. This constant rollercoaster ride of emotions would be too much for her. With so many injuries and the stress of everything what that had happened, he knew that he had to keep his distance, but with every moment away from her, she would grow closer and closer to her fiancé, and further and further from him. He loved her. That much he knew was the absolute truth.

But now to tell April that…

...


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to all the lovely people who have reviewed. Your words really do make me smile! I know I'm holding you in suspense, but I promise the next chapter will be amazing! Don't forget to leave a few words and let me know what you think….or maybe your theories on how Shonda is going to torture us every Thursday (Friday for me) for the foreseeable future?**

Chapter 4:

….

Jackson sat in the crowded cafeteria at the table along miserably picking through his plate of pasta with his fork. He rested his chin in his hand and sighed glumly staring down at the food before him.

"Don't look so depressed Avery" Alex exclaimed, as he sat down opposite Jackson with his own lunch. "Kepner's not dead!"

Jackson looked up at Karev with a look of disgust. "Don't be a jackass" Jackson told him sternly.

"What?" Alex replied affronted. "It's true! You're sitting down here moaning like a baby. She's gonna be fine…the only reason you're acting this way is because paramedic loser is the one upstairs sitting by her side, not _you_".

Jackson didn't reply, only continued to glare at his colleague with distain at his previous remark. As much as he hated to admit it, Karev was completely right. It had been three days since April's accident and she was beginning to improve. She was still unconscious, but showing improved brain activity and reacting well to the medications being constantly fed to her. Shepherd was confident her coma could be reversed in a few days time. He had tried to keep his distance from April's room and Matthew, who seemed to be there constantly. Jackson was informed by one of April's nurses that Matthew had applied for a few days leave to be by his fiancés bedside- and he certainly had been. Jackson had been hoping to visit April alone and see her properly, not through a glass door. He wanted so badly to hold her hand and say hello…his profession of love would have to wait until April was actually able to hear him and hopefully respond with exactly what he wanted to hear.

Taking a haste bite of the now cold pasta, he washed it down with a large gulp of black coffee, the strange combination leaving an unpleasant aftertaste in his mouth which he cringed inwardly at. "I'm outta here", he told Karev.

"Dude…" Alex stopped him, his tone changing to a gentler one. "Just….let her be- at least for now. She's just been hit by a truck, been trapped in a flipped car and broken both her legs. She needs to get better before she can deal with the relationship crap I know you wanna dump on her".

"I'm not dumping anything on her" Jackson replied angrily through gritted teeth.

"You wanna say you're sorry…for being a jackass" Alex countered knowingly. "You wanna tell her that you were freaking that she nearly died. You wanna tell her that she means everything to you…but seriously…don't do it while she's got all this on her plate".

Jackson remained silent; everything Karev was saying was the truth. He wanted to say all those things, and more to April.

"Just…stay out of my business" Jackson huffed before standing and walking out of the cafeteria. Stalking to the elevator, he punched the 'up' button, placing his hands on his hips as he impatiently watching the numbers on the small screen decrease as the elevator slowly came down. He had to hand it to Karev, for someone who put on the 'heartless jackass' act, he knew this stuff and was surprisingly sensitive- more than he cared to admit. Jackson had no intention of hurting April and he knew that telling her that he loved her while she lay in bed drugged up with both legs in casts was probably not the ideal thing to do. It would only hurt her more to hear those words and battle with them while simultaneously attempting to heal from a terrible incident. And Jackson knew deep down in his heart that Matt was probably exactly what she needed right now. Someone to make her laugh, to reassure her, to hold her hand and help her go to the toilet- everything that Jackson was holding back from being- everything he was unsure of becoming. His entire friendship with April, while being genuine, had been rocky, exceptionally so while they had been sleeping together. He knew that there was a slim chance of them returning to the days when they had been the best of friends. Maybe it would just be best to keep on being friends?

As much as it hurt him to admit it, maybe that was exactly what they both needed. To just take a step back and be friends. He had to be a bigger person and just walk away. For himself, for her and for their relationship. It hurt him to admit it, but it was the truth.

….

A few hours later, Jackson sat in the attending's lounge working on some charts- it was what he did when he was stressed or frustrated. Suddenly he heard a gentle knock on the door, swinging his head around he was surprised to find Matthew standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Umm….hi" Jackson spoke, standing up. "What are you doing here?" he asked uncertainly.

"Some nurses pointed me in this direction" Matt answered, still maintaining his uncomfortable stance and tone. "I wanted to have a word…if that's alright?"

"Yeah…" Jackson offered him a seat at the table. "Why'd you wanna talk to me?"

"Look man" Matt sighed heavily. "I know you and April have….you know…something" Jackson looked down at his hands uncomfortably. "But before all this happened, April and I spoke and we figured everything out. I know that you're important to her and I don't want you thinking that you have to end your friendship. This is going to be a really hard time for April and I know that she's going to need all her true, close friends supporting her through it".

Jackson looked directly at the paramedic "so what are you saying?" he asked.

"I'm saying that I'm not going to be some controlling freak and _'stop'_ you from seeing her…I've seen you lingering outside her room and I know you want to be there for her….so I'm saying" he paused. "Be there for her".

Jackson took a deep breath and nodded, a tight smile forming on his lips. "I appreciate that man" he told Matt. "I'm sure it would mean a lot to April too".

"I know it would", the paramedic replied meaningfully. "But I hope that you can respect that April and I _are _engaged. We _are_ going to be married and as much as I know you need to be there for her…please….just be her friend".

Jackson stiffened at the other man's words, unsure of how to reply. It felt anger begin to boil up inside him as he attempted to prevent himself from lashing out. Instead, the plastics fellow simply nodded once more and averted his gaze from Matthew's face.

"Ok" the paramedic nodded. "I'll see you round then" he mumbled before standing and leaving the room without a backward glance. As soon as he left, Jackson angrily thumped his fist against the plastic table beneath him, letting out a frustrated groan. While he appreciated Matthew welcoming him to see April and to be there for her, he hated the way in which Matt had almost declared her _his_.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sharp buzz of his pager as it rang. Checking the small screen he frowned as he saw that he was being called to the ICU, a bang of panic consumed him…it was April's room.

….

Pacing quickly from the elevator doors he stalked to April room where he was greeted by a smiling Shepard and a more demure looking Matthew, who nevertheless smiled tightly. Jackson couldn't help but observe that he was holding her hand securely as he looked at Shepard.

"I was called here?" Jackson spoke uncertainly.

"I just thought you'd wanna know…" Matthew spoke, indicating over to Derek.

"I think we can reverse the coma today" Shepard declared with a grin.

…


	5. Chapter 5

**Guys I'm so incredibly sorry that I haven't updated sooner! It's been a busy last couple of weeks with my final exams and all but I'm hoping to get back into the groove and update ASAP! Please remember to review and let me know what you all think of it! **

…**.**

Chapter 5:

"What?" Jackson rasped, stunned from the good news. "Today?"

Derek nodded enthusiastically, his hands together before him. "My opinion is that she's ready. The swelling is pretty much back to normal and she's been responsive to the tests I've been doing…she's ready and rearing to come out" he grinned.

"Thank you so much Dr Shepherd" Matt spoke up with a grateful smile. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate it".

"Don't thank me Matthew" the neurosurgeon replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "April is doing all the hard work. She's been a super patient…you've got a strong one here" he glanced down at the redhead.

"Thank you again" Matt told him sincerely.

"I'll have the nurses come in soon and administer the reversal drug. She should be awake in about an hour. She'll be groggy and possibly confused so try not to crowd her and give her time for her brain to adjust" Derek explained before saying his goodbyes and leaving.

Jackson didn't say a word, instead gazing intently at April has she lay in the bed, the rhythmic sounds of the ventilator the only thing ringing in his ears. His eyes travelled down to her legs- both wrapped in large white casts, elevated by a few pillows. He didn't even want to begin imagining the devastation she was going to feel once she realised the extent of her injuries. He knew April to be self-conscious and having all these injuries was sure to crush her emotionally. He felt anger in the pit of his stomach as he realised that Matthew was going to be the one there for her. The one to protect her and to help her. Jackson was just a spectator on the sideline…

The sound of Matthew clearing his throat awkwardly brought Jackson from his thoughts.

"Man" the paramedic started. "Can I have a minute" he indicated to April's sleeping form.

"Sure" Jackson nodded numbly, stepping from the room and leaning against the wall in the corridor. Suddenly his pager began to beep incessantly. Leaning down he saw that it was Stephanie, calling from the on-call room they usually used on the third floor. Cringing inwardly he let a small frustrated groan escape his lips as he made his way toward the elevator.

…..

"So I've got 10 minutes before my next surgery and I'm wearing your favourite underwear" the first year resident grinned suggestively as Jackson entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Come and get it big boy" she encouraged.

Jackson sighed deeply and watched as his girlfriend began to lift off her light blue scrub top. "Stop" he told her sternly. Stephanie frowned in response, dropping her hands to her sides as she sat on the bed, her legs curled beneath her.

"What?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"I don't want that…" he told her austerely.

The young dark resident looked away from his gaze; embarrassment and shame clear on her expression. "I just thought that…" she began.

"Well you thought wrong" the plastic surgeon snapped. Stephanie clearly flinched at his harsh tone, instinctively wrapping her arms around herself.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, on the edge of tears.

Jackson let out a deep breath of frustration, his hands on his hips, his chest puffed in anger. "I just can't deal with this right now. I've got more important things on my plate" he seethed through gritted teeth.

"More important things like April Kepner" Stephanie shot back at him, her dark eyes filled with hurt.

Jackson looked at her incredulously, his mouth agape with frustration. "What are you talking about?" he demanded, his voice low.

"I'm not an idiot Jackson" Stephanie indicated to herself. "I know you still have feelings for April. You done a good job at hiding them…but now that she's been hurt, I can see it in your eyes…you care about her….you're freaking out".

"Stop talking Stephanie" he demanded. "You know nothing".

"I know plenty Jackson" she replied, her voice rising with confidence. "I know you're just using me to get over her. I know you're denying your true feelings. I know you can't admit to them because you're afraid of what the reaction will be".

"And what are these _feelings _you seem to know so much about?" he fumed, taking steps closer towards the bed. "Huh? Tell me!"

"YOU LOVE HER" Stephanie exclaimed, hot tears escaping her large brown eyes and rolling down her cheeks. A moment of silence engulfed them as Jackson took in her words, surprised at her sudden outburst. "You love her and its time you did us both a favour and admitted it" she murmured as she rose from the bed and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind her.

Jackson sighed, collapsing on the bed, resting his head on the pillow, staring mindlessly up at the beige ceiling. As much as he had resented Stephanie's words, he knew that they were the absolute truth, exactly what he had been dreading hearing because a large part of him had been terrified to admit it to anyone and especially to himself. He loved April Kepner. He had loved her for a long time.

Rising from the bed, he stood and straightened his coat, pushing back his shoulders. It was time to face the music.

…..

Slowly approaching April's room, he saw Matthew standing in the doorway of April's room, speaking in his mobile, a disappointed expression painted on his features. Jackson waited for the paramedic to finish before approaching him.

"Everything ok?" he asked politely.

"Not really" Matthew replied stonily. "I've been called in to do an emergency shift…one of the guys fell down a flight of stairs at the station and they need me to cover for him".

"Man I'm sorry" Jackson attempted to sound sincere, in reality his insides giddy with excitement.

"I'm just pissed I won't be here when April wakes up" he fumed. "They came and gave her the reversal drug like 20 minutes ago…she should be awake anytime now and I just wanted to be there".

"I can be here if you want" Jackson offered, a hint of desperation coming through. "That way she doesn't have to be alone" he pushed.

Matthew looked at the plastic surgeon sceptically, unsure of whether to accept his offer. Sighing, he slumped his shoulders in resignation. "Alright" he nodded, walking inside and picking up his jacket, shrugging it on. "When she wakes up just tell her where I am" Matthew instructed Jackson. "And…" he added timidly "…tell her I love her" he told the other man awkwardly.

Jackson swallowed and nodded once, unable to meet the paramedic's eyes. Matthew walked over to April and leaned down, placing a gentle peck on her forehead. Smiling he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before leaving the room, heading toward the elevator. Jackson watched him leave before turning back to the redhead. Walking up to her, he couldn't help but reach out and touch her arm.

"Wake up April" he told her firmly, reaching out tentatively and stroking her cheek. "I'm here…wake up for me".

….

Jackson was sitting in the armchair across from the bed, staring mindlessly at his phone in a vain attempt to distract himself. An hour had passed and still April remained slumbering. His stomach began to grumble loudly in protest at the lack of food inside it. Standing, he moaned contently as he stretched. He was only a foot outside the room when he heard a soft groan.

Turning he saw April begin to move, her fingers twitching and her facial expression contorting into a frown, despite her eyes remaining closed. Suddenly her arm moved and Jackson could see her beginning to open her eyes. Grinning he walked back over to the bed, taking her hand into a comforting grip.

"Hey April" he spoke softly. "Wake up".

April moaned louder as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "Jacks.." she mumbled, her eyes flittering open. "Wha…?"

"You had an accident" Jackson explained calmly. "You're in the hospital…you're waking from an induced coma" he informed her in his doctor voice. "I know you're tired, but just try and fight the sleep for me, ok? Just try".

April gave a single slow nod, swallowing and attempting to keep her eyes open longer, gazing up at him. "What happen?" she mumbled, her words unclear.

"Your car got T-boned" he explained. "You were trapped under the wreckage for a bit, but you got out ok".

April's eyes grew wide with shock as she tried to sit up but stopped, yelping out in pain.

"April don't move" Jackson instructed with a reassuring tone. "You'll only give yourself more grief".

"What injuries?" she breathed, her chest rising and falling with each panicked breath she took.

"Don't worry about that now" his voice soothing. "Just try and stay calm and you'll be fine. There is nothing to worry about" the plastic surgeon rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Just…tell…me" she replied, gritting her teeth through the pain as she slowly shifted her body.

Jackson left out a deep sign as he began to speak. "You've fractured your pelvis and broken your left patella, tibia and fibula. You've also broken your right fibula and tibia" he informed her.

The auburn haired doctor let out a tearful yelp as she sunk back into her pillows, beginning to sob distraughtly. One thought began to run through her head. Two broken legs. Two broken legs.

Jackson watched her for a brief moment before leaning over her, one hand remaining on her arm, the other moving to her face to gently caress it. "You're ok" he told her with firm kindness. "You're going to be fine. Bones heal. You're gonna be absolutely fine".

April just stared at him, her eyes wide with fear and shock. "My legs…I can't feel my legs" she exclaimed being to almost hyperventilate.

"Yes you can April" Jackson told her firmly, his smile disappearing. "You can feel them…you're just scaring yourself into thinking you don't. You're going to be fine. You're going to get past this".

"I can't feel my legs…I can't feel my legs" she repeated in a frenzied whisper, her scared eyes flitting around the room. Jackson felt his heart melt at the sight of her terror, seeing her panic like this made him feel completely and utterly helpless.

"Please Jackson" she continued, her voice filled with alarm. "Please help me…I can't feel my legs…"

Jackson sighed and without thinking leant in and placed a deep kiss on her lips. Stunned, April's eyes remained open wide. Pulling back after a brief moment, Jackson looked at his friend with a cheeky grin.

"That certainly shut you up" he joked, looking down at her expectantly, waiting for her reaction. "April?" he pushed, after she remained silent.

"Matthew" she spoke quietly after a moment of heavy silence. "Where's Matthew?" April demanded, avoiding Jackson's gaze.

Jackson felt his face tighten as he furrowed his brow in frustration. Then again, what did he expect? A happy reunion? That crap only happened in those cheesy chick flicks. Sighing he removed his hands from her and took a step back. "He got called for a shift. Had to cover for someone who'd had a fall. He wanted to be here himself…" he explained awkwardly.

April nodded, turning her head from him. "Thank you for being here Jackson" she spoke numbly. "I'm really tired…I just need to be alone to think about this all…could you please go?"

Her last words felt like a bullet going through his heart. Stunned at her blunt rejection of him, he gave a single nod. He walked a few paces toward the door, suddenly turning back to her laying figure, her head turned away from him.

"He loves you" he told her impassively. "He wanted me to tell you he loves you" the words coming out of his mouth felt like glass in his throat as he spoke them. He immediately walked out before his emotions had the chance to betray him, unbeknownst to him that April had begun quietly sobbing.


End file.
